Divorcing the Marlboro Man

So I finally did it…I ended my 20-yr marriage to the Marlboro Man.



Sure…it was tough. But now I’m a free woman…no longer bound to the monster that had kept me ensnared my entire adult life.

I made the decision in mid-May…while my father was in the hospital. He has been a smoker for as long as I can remember…and it was finally taking a toll on his health. The doctors told him to quit or die basically. Yeah…there was maybe a third choice in there somewhere…something about losing his legs. But the basic message was quit or die. So…when the family told be about the doctor’s orders…I made the decision to quit with my father…to show him my support in the best way I could…which was to join him in his struggle to kick the nicotine monkey right in the gonads.

I decided to fly to NC to visit him once he got out of the hospital…and I planned that week to be my “quit week”. For 2 weeks prior to my Charlotte vacation…I slowly tried to taper off the daily number of cigarettes. I started reading about quitting…what to expect…what the hardest part was going to be…how to prepare for your quit day…etc. I printed out the Five Day Plan to Quit Smoking…and put it in a binder, along with a copy of my bucket list and some other things to keep me busy. The plan became to stay occupied as much as possible…to keep my mind from thinking about smoking.

I smoked my last cigarette the night before my flight to Charlotte. Once I got to my Dad’s…I told him about my plan to quit…and asked him how he was faring. Since he has been in the hospital for 2 weeks…and drugged to the gills for 98% of that time…he had a leg up on anyone else trying to quit. The nicotine was already out of his system (it takes about 72 hours for you to test 100% nicotine-free)…and he had missed all the withdrawal issues that you have to go through while detoxing. Now…all he was dealing with was breaking the habit…dealing with the everyday triggers that made him want to smoke.

The week I spent with my family was surprisingly easy. I didn’t feel like I was having any of the expected withdrawal issues…irritability, anxiety, excessive eating. There were a few tense moments…but they were sparse since I was living in a non-smoking home and far away from my everyday routine. I was thrilled to make it through that week successfully…and fairly easily. And I am happy to report that my 1 week anniversary was my father’s 4 week anniversary….so he is doing well.

Going home was another story. At this point…I had been smoke-free for one week. According to the Stop Smoking Recovery Timeline, my senses of smell and taste were starting to return to normal, I was 100% nicotine-free, and my lungs functional abilities were starting to increase. I felt good about my progress…but knew that returning to my “real life” was going to make my journey a little harder. I was going to have to start learning what it was like to go through my daily routine without smoking.

When Ross picked me up at the airport…my first instinct was to ask him for a cigarette. Actually…I am sure I did ask him for a cigarette…but I was just joking around. I expected the ride home to be tough…but I was pleasantly surprised at how comfortable I was with not-smoking. And Ross was wonderful…he didn’t smoke in the car…even though I told him it wouldn’t bother me.

I went back to work on Monday…and I’m happy to report that this week has also been easier than I expected. Sure…every now and then…I start doing something that I associate with smoking…and so I have a desire to light a cigarette. But I instantly recognize that I’m not “craving” a smoke…it’s just a habit associated with whatever activity I’m doing at that moment. It’s easy to forget about the craving and just move on. And I am finding that I think about smoking less and less each day.

Today is my 2 week anniversary…and I think I am going to stop keeping track of how long it has been. As of now…I’m just going to consider myself a non-smoker....not a smoker who has quit for a certain amount of time.

So farewell Marlboro Man. We have had some good times…but I’ve finally outgrown you…and I’ve made the decision not to let you ruin the rest of my life. (And thanks for the “alimony”…the money I will be saving by not having you around. Let’s just estimate it at about $90K if I live for the next 50 years!)

Links to helpful and informational websites about quitting smoking:

American Cancer Society
WhyQuit.com