The Hand (aka The Fake Apology)

Over the last few years, it has become increasingly prevalent for players to raise their hand in apology when then slop a ball in or accidentally leave their opponent safe after they miss a ball.  Ten years ago, The Hand didn’t even exist in the United States.  The only players who I ever saw raise The Hand were the gals in the WPBA who hailed from England, Ireland, etc.  Of course, The Hand was a rare sight back then, because players like Allison Fisher, Kelly Fisher, Karen Corr…well, they don’t slop in or miss many balls.  So I never really paid much attention to the whole thing.

But nowadays…sheesh…nowadays, every pool player and their momma uses The Hand.  From pro players to bar league players, everyone is giving The Hand…and it’s getting really old, really fast.  

First of all, let’s tackle the misconception of what The Hand is really saying. Players use it as a silent apology, but if you think about it carefully, it is really a fake apology.  It is an unspoken F*ck You…and no one needs or wants that.

Why is it a F.U.?  Because...despite what some might think…I am not an idiot. I know you got lucky.  You know you got lucky.  Anyone watching knows you got lucky.  So, why do I need a hand gesture from you to acknowledge the luck?  

• ·        When you miss a ball and it goes 3 rails into another pocket, we both know it was lucky.
• ·        When you miss a ball and slop in another ball, we are both well aware that it wasn’t part of your grand master plan.
• ·        When you miss a ball by a foot and accidentally leave me frozen to another ball and dead-hooked…well, we both know you just got a fantastic roll.

And guess what?  I also know that you aren’t truly very sorry about it.  If you are like the hundreds of players I’ve asked about this over the years, you are secretly smiling inside because that lucky roll probably just gave you a huge advantage in that game, or even the match.  

For me, seeing The Hand from my opponent forces my brain to acknowledge the luck.  I have no chance to ignore the luck or let it roll off my back because The Hand is essentially like waving a red flag and rubbing it, ever so gently, in my face that you just got lucky.  How is that “nice” or “polite”?  You might as well just go ahead and do a little happy dance instead, because the happy dance will also rub the luck in my face, but at least I can respect you for being honest about it.

Here’s my suggestion for an alternative behavior for everyone to try in place of giving someone The Hand:  Next time you slop in a ball, or get safe unintentionally…just go about your business like nothing happened.  Either keep playing the rack out and win the game like a gentleman (or woman), or go back to your seat quietly and politely and wait for your next opportunity at the table.  Don’t force your opponent to acknowledge your good fortune.  Don’t rub their face in your good luck by giving them The Hand.  Because in reality, you are actually giving them The Finger…and that is most definitely not polite.